So your man is a pretty wonderful guy. Things are going so well. You might have even married him. What in the world could mess this up? Oh, the mother of his kids! Show Baby mama drama began with the start of civilization- think Abraham from the bible. Sparks were going off between Sara (his wife) and Hagar (baby mama). Abraham couldn’t deal with the drama and finally shipped Hagar off with their child- never to be seen again. Even if that is your fantasy, it isn’t going to happen- nor should it. The modern reality is that almost half (46%) of marriages involve a step-parent situation. When your relationship first started, dreams of the Brady Bunch may have been circling in your head. But reality hits and everything isn’t as smooth and seamless as a one-hour episode can make it look. And often, it’s not even the kids. They’re pretty cool. It’s their mother- that extra person in your relationship. Relationships are hard enough when it’s just the two of you. We therapists often talk about how unhealthy a triangle is in any relationship. But, sometimes they just can’t be avoided. When you have to factor in the mother of his children into your blossoming relationship, baby mama drama can ensue! Sometimes you can feel like giving up- But not so quickly! Whether you have just committed to this relationship or you’ve been in it for a while and the drama is escalating, how can you step into a split- parent situation with grace, even when the other woman may be spitting venom? And how do you know when the situation is just too sticky and you need to step away? First things first. We have all heard that two women cannot peacefully rule in a home together. Someone has to take a back seat and there may be a lot of negotiating to figure out whose role is whose. Sometimes your role will be the back seat and sometimes it should be front and center. You deserve to be respected as the new woman in his life and she needs to be respected as the mother of his children. You already know that she’s not so thrilled that you are his new woman and the reality is that nothing you do will be good enough in her eyes. Here are a few tips to negotiating baby mama drama.(And while you are reading them- remember, you can only change YOU. I’m sure she’s practically evil, but you can’t change her and neither can he. But, you can improve your whole life and relationship by learning how to deal with her in the best way possible. That means changing you.)
Baby mama drama will exist in some form, as it always has, for the rest of time. It doesn’t have to ruin your relationship if you take the high road. Respect her and demand respect (from him) in return and you are well on your way to making it work. Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist and life and relationship coach for women. Join her free monthly newsletter for helpful tips and encouragement for women trying to do it all. How do you know if your baby momma still loves you?She starts calling you more often
When the conversation gets dim after some time, then there is a problem and trouble is brewing. However, when your baby mama calls to check on you more often than before, that is a sign that she still wants you.
How to deal with baby mama drama as a man?Here are a few tips to negotiating baby mama drama.. Jealousy is a normal emotion. This other woman was a big part of his life and shares the most important little people in his life as well. ... . You and the other woman must have your own relationship. ... . Mutual Respect. ... . Know Your Role. ... . Your Feelings Are Valid Too.. How can I make my baby mama happy?10 easy ways to make a new mum VERY happy. Insist she have a mammoth lie-in. ... . Give her plenty of food and HOT cups of tea. ... . Agree with everything she says. ... . Tell her she has never looked better. ... . Allow her a long unhurried shower. ... . Tell her she has the cutest baby in the world.. How do you deal with a toxic baby mother?6 Ways to Deal With a Toxic Co-Parent. Establish Healthy Boundaries. ... . Communicate Effectively and Strategically. ... . Do NOT Be Reactive. ... . Let Go of What You Cannot Control. ... . Remember to Take Time to Care For Yourself. ... . Get Support From a San Antonio Child Custody Attorney.. |