It ends with us discussion Reddit

Kinda the same way not all abusers are hideous toads, not all abusers are bad parents. If an abuser’s triggers are romance-related, he probably won’t have issues at work, church, school, or even parenting. Everything depends on what they’re coping with using violence/what story they tell themselves to justify violence. I thought it was super important to not just challenge the typical “hideous toad” stereotype with a charming, successful, good-looking man, but also to challenge the “sadistic psychopath” stereotype with an otherwise GOOD, caring, sincerely sorry man.

I think it’s important for women to hear: “Yes, he’s your best friend. AND he’s an abusive partner. Gtfo.” or “Yes, he’s a selfless philantropist. AND he’s an abusive partner. Gtfo.” or “Yes, he’s a great dad whose kids adore him... AND he’s an abusive partner. Gtfo.”

If we make “dangerous dad” a co-requisite to “dangerous husband”… we’ll miss some of the realities of this shit. Which are: spousal abuse and child abuse often exist alone, without the other… and… offenders of whatever type of abuse are often preferential.

Just bc I wouldn’t leave my kids alone with an abusive ex does NOT preclude the possibility that it makes sense for some other families and I think there’s risk in being condemning of that decision bc this middle ground solution of “I need a divorce but the kids still need a dad” might be the middle ground a woman needs to finally leave, if the “totally cutting him off from everyone” option feels too big.

right, i just finished this book and when i say it is one of the most beautiful things i have ever read.i smiled, i cried, i laughed, i sobbed. i stayed up all night reading it and sacrificed my sleep because i just could NOT put it down

gosh, this book. if you don't read this book then believe me, YOU NEED TO READ IT.

if any wanna talk about it or something, then by all means, hmu.

also, i see myself being terribly hungover from this particular book, so if yall have any suggestions or book recommendations then please do let me know, and if you've read it, then tell me i'm not the only one who feels this way

thanks, darlins

edit : this was my first time posting on reddit and i didn't think i'd get so many comments : )

So last month I finished It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover, and let me tell you I did NOT expect to dislike it to the extent that I do. I did not also expect to feel scammed by Tiktok over this highly popular book which so many people- to this day- make constant posts about how it's their favorite book.

It wasn't just Tiktok, it was constantly on every platform that could ever recommend a book. It was on reddit, Instagram, Youtube, GoodReads and so much that you actually want to give it chance, cuz you think, "that many people can't be wrong, can they?" And hell, they were. I just don't get it.

This is ofc a rant on the whole book and how I felt afterwards, its only my take on it and I know that it could be your fav book I'm trashing, but then again I'm only going to respect your opinion. And in end, if it gets too heated, let's just agree to disagree. So here it goes:

Rating- 1 star(with extra generosity, and only for Atlas)

LOVE-

- Atlas of course, his story and his kind and considerate actions.

EH?

- condescending main girl, even though writer tries to show she's not (no don't tell me she wasn't, every time she described Atlas in the beginning, she constantly called him "homeless". Sometimes even when things are obvious, you just don't verbalize it, words like that can be ugly and as a reader I only felt that this girl was looking down on him. Was it really necessary to call him that that many times? really?)

- TELL TELL TELL TELL TELL TELL writing.

- characters who spend literally no time bonding (except atlas and lily), and the only "bonding" scenes is mating??? Not only with Ryle and Lily, but also Lily and Alyssa. Lily meets Alyssa in the afternoon, and by evening they're BBFs? Totally possible. Yes

- Chances that Alyssa is Ryle's sister? Every single one. Yes, totally possible again. (cringing so hard my face might contort)

- Ryle? A big fat mistake to walk on the face of the earth. Honestly, no it's actually Lily. Lily's a big fat mistake.

- Girl doesn't think twice before marrying some random dude she met 6 months ago, after the possible risk that he might turn out like her father? WTF was she thinking? Oh right, she wasn't. She just doesn't think.

- Dude is a huge red flag in itself cuz he doesn't care abt relationships, and all he wants is to bang and leave (Do you guys see a toxic pattern here in CH's books? Does this remind of another book/2 maybe? Let me help you- Ugly Love and stupid Verity(it's the girl here tho)).

- How could she like him??? How???! Oh cuz he's good in bed, right. Or "oh his voice hits me right in my stomach". Totally. Girls aren't so gullible like CH makes her FMCs out to be , which is such a big hypocrite factor for me cuz if she's writing a book about women empowerment, she truly needed to up her game rather than write things that make girls seem like they're nothing more than superficial aff. ???

- Oh, here's the fun part tho, he changes. For her. Yes another fucking totally! (I'd rather be run over by cows with shit all over their feet than read this book)

- Most of the time it felt like the things that the characters did didn't feel much like what they would actually do, but rather what the writer is making them do. The fact that it feels this way is a clear sign that the writer has derailed from the story.

- Lily doesn't want to make a decision on their marriage until the baby comes out because of what!!!??? Pregnancy hormones? So all pregnant women are incapable of making decisions at all then??? And then immediately, the moment the baby comes out she decides for a divorce??? The fucking second she sees him hold their daughter? No preg hormones then huh? Yes, of course. What CH writes is what actually is. Yes.

- Terrible writing. Terrible characters. Very distracting plot holes.

- What's up with Allysa? She was soooo purposefully made that way, the cliché friend, so common it hurts. She naturally just sees the sign and comes to work for Lily? Cuz she's too bored of being rich? Where does this even happen?

- Lily hires Allysa without a second thought. No background asked, no serial killer check, no nothing. "Just gonna work for free??? Okay cool. You can start right away. Oh l kinda feel guilty for making you work for free though, so $10/hour? Sure. Of course."

- WHAT THE FUCK WERE THOSE JOURNALSSS??? EWWWW. Could she have come up with anything worse than those to convey the story? Guess we'll never know. After reading the book, I fully realize the sole purpose of the journals was so that Ryle would find them, and do what he will so that the story can progress. Terrible. While I was reading, it would've made so much more of an impact if the writer chose to maybe give Lily flashbacks of her time, dreams every single day, like she was always constantly traumatized by what happened to atlas. She then visits maybe a therapist to take help from, and he says journaling might help, and then ryle find those papers. Or ryle just goes through her files from the doc. Can't make him more of a dick than he already is, so why not?

- People don't just get over that trauma of being in an abusive household like how CH made it look like- it haunts them for the rest of their life. When someone places something a little to hard on the ground, when someone shouts, when someone's quiet, when someone's being a little too rough with them even when they're clearly joking, they're constantly reminded, they constantly wonder if that someone is angry. Where was this??? WHERE??? Terrible writing.

- Lily was a pain. So very frustrating. She blamed atlas for not coming back for her, while she dated the first guy she met. The guy who clearly had a temper. No, I'm not saying she should've known before, but I'm saying the obvious reaction should've been doubting men because of her childhood, I've known people who are extremely cautious of the same because of going through something similar. I know not everyone is the same, but that reaction should be blatant. How could she even find him attractive? How is she not reminded of her father all the fucking time??? How does she not take caution before dating another man???

- She met him on a rooftop, he flirts, and she falls in love with him? ? ? ? ? It makes more sense if they just hooked up than get married because of that, because that's all he wanted anyway.

- Repeated disappointing behavior. When he did what he did the second time, it should've been over there. I don't care how much she loved him, or how much of their future she saw(which the author didn't mention one bit of, 0% explanation of show writing and 10000% of just telling-"oh she loved him, so if you disapprove, you're standing on the outside, you don't understand". NO. Just NO.)she should have walked away without another word. But no. Even when he says he blacks out because of what he did to his brother, she only should've felt sorry for him and nothing more, but she takes that as a valid justification on his behalf for what he did. This is why girls like Inej and stories like Six of Crows are legendary-"He's gonna fix himself, and I'm gonna fix myself". Not one person doing the fixing for both of them. Fuck this!

- I never expected a character to be perfect. I in fact like stories that display the contrary, like if I were reading about a morally gray character, I'd like him to find redemption at some point, if I were reading about a character who never made mistakes, maybe he'd make a grave one along the way in the book, something to say that things can always go against us and we'd make poor choices. I get that. But what I truly don't get in IEWU is the "repetitiveness" of the same bad choices, up to the point where it gets so frustrating to sit with. He (literally) bites her neck of, punches her, pushes her down an entire flight of stairs, and each time she forgives him. She's covered in bruises all the time, but he says he loves her though, so she forgives him again. What does that say to the women going through the same kind of thing? That's it's okay to be let yourself be treated that way? For what?

Plus the entire dislike of this book doesn't only revolve only the abusive part, it's also the unrealistic writing, the relationship of the FMC with others. The time jumps, as well as how she never apologized to the right people. Had a Atlas and Lily's position be changed, and atlas the reason lily gets beaten by his father, do you think readers would be okay to see atlas go on w never once apologizing? why double standards people?

- Randomly just meets Altas one day, and decided to finally be together out of nowhere? Where's the angst? Where are the proper confrontations? Where is the fucking apology for what her father did to him??? WHEREEE??? TERRRIBBLLEEEE!!!

- Pacing? No Jumping. SUCKSSS. Terrible writing.

- I get that the book tried to be more on the educative side rather than entertaining, so its totally fine with the themes that play around. I'm never gonna say something was too difficult read (except ofc unrealistic trauma like A Little Life, but that's a story for another day) But where is the realism when trying to convey that? Where is the strong, brave female lead who walks away at the right time? Where is the female lead who inspires other girls with her story, where she makes an example of herself and NOT someone who people can relate to, cuz sometimes what we need is someone who we can look up to and NOT someone who's on the same level and feel sorry for them because we fully understand what they're feeling. She's not his babysitter. She's not here to make him behave his best. "He's going to pull himself together, and she's going stay by his side while he does that, not literally do it for him, and forgive him time and time again when he can't because then he's going blame her for not doing her job of pulling him together. Where's the female lead who never once looks back after something so cursed takes place, never even thinks that there's a possibility that more chances could be given? Because some things once said and done, there's NO going back. NEVER. Where is she? WHEREEE? Terrible.

- Lacking in every way.

- 0 aestheticism.

- 0 introspective paragraphs, 0 memories or possibilities shared to the reader by the character, 0 contemplation before making any decision.

- 0 everything.

If someone ever told me this book was sad, that would be the one most confusing statement I would ever hear because nothing about this book was sad, I would not shed air for this book, it was trash writing, and ever trashier characters (NOT Atlas). That was all it was.

Overall, TRASH.

However!!!

I hope you had fun reading this rant. You can trash it with me, and we can be Trash Buddies. :)

xoxo

Who got Lily pregnant in It Ends With Us?

Does Lily choose Atlas or Ryle?

Will Atlas and Lily end up together?

Do Atlas and Lily sleep together?