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An Expert Explains How To Know If It's A Rebound Or Real Love Author: Updated on March 12, 2020 By Sheryl Paul, M.A. mbg Contributor Sheryl Paul, M.A., has guided thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her best-selling books, her e-courses, and her website. She has her master's in Psychology Counseling from the Pacifica Graduate Institute, and is the author of The Wisdom of Anxiety: How Worry and Intrusive Thoughts Are Gifts to Help You Heal. Last updated on March 12, 2020 The term "rebound" carries quite a negative stigma in our cultural lexicon, and people tend to throw it around anytime someone enters a new relationship within weeks after their last. We understand it to mean that the newly single person is smoothing over the pain of a breakup by immersing themselves in the romance of a new, exciting relationship. In the aftermath of a breakup, I often recommend time should be spent turning inward, reflecting, and spending time alone so you can process your grief. This can help lay a healthy foundation on which to begin your next relationship. But that's not always the case, and sometimes you find yourself in a loving, healthy relationship just weeks after a breakup. Yes, you could be experiencing real love. AdvertisementThis ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. How do you spot the difference? Here are some guidelines to help you determine whether it's a rebound or real love:There are a few signs that act as a major tell for your true feelings. Signs it's a rebound:
AdvertisementThis ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Signs it's real love:
The bottom line:When you find a connection shortly after a breakup, you might question if it's a rebound or if there's a foundation to build on. Often you just need to be honest with yourself and your intentions. If you look inward, you'll be able to suss out your actual feelings. AdvertisementThis ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About A Rebound Relationship Can a rebound turn into a relationship? A rebound fling does have the potential to turn into a relationship, but there’s a really high risk involved. The truth about these kinds of relationships is that people use a new partner as a means of getting over an ended relationship, whether it was good or bad. It’s important to know all of the reasons and risks of an unhealthy rebound relationship. If you’re dating someone new right after you’ve gotten out of a serious relationship, especially if that relationship lasted a long time, then you are likely a rebounding person. One of the signs you’re rebounding is you’re looking for a short-term connection that feels good and helps you get over your previous relationship. Since these are your intentions, it will likely lead to an unhealthy rebound. Dating someone new isn’t the way to get over your current relationship or breakup. Instead, the truth about rebounds is that they are often a way to distract yourself from the actual healing process. So, while it’s not impossible, it’s usually magical thinking when you really expect a new partner in a rebound to last for a long time. A rebounding person has their sights set on the short term, and that type of person won’t support a healthy relationship. If you’re coming out of a long-term and committed relationship, this new romantic partner probably isn’t the real deal. Why do rebound relationships feel like love? It’s not uncommon for a rebounding person to feel like they’re in love with their new partner. An unhealthy rebound relationship can spark many feelings that are usually associated with being in love. Even before the feelings of the recently ended relationship have been resolved, a rebounding person will seek out those fuzzy feelings associated with a new partner. First of all, a rebounding person will experience the sexual attraction and tension surrounding the new rebound. This is not unlike the physical reactions that our body has when we’re falling in love with a partner whom we really love and care about. However, in the case of a rebound, there are usually complicated intentions and pain wrapped up in these feelings, along with a desire to escape. So, while the physical reaction you have might feel like love, overall, it’s not the love you would find in a committed relationship that you and your new partner will work hard to establish and build. Do Rebound Relationships move fast? Usually, rebounds move fast and are over quickly. One of the signs of an unhealthy rebound is that it is moving quickly. The rebounding person focuses mainly on what the new partner can do for them instead of building and working on an emotional attachment or actual relationship with long-term potential. This is an unhealthy rebound relationship because it is not balanced. The person and the new partner probably spend the bulk of their time and energy on sex, pleasure, and other distractions for the rebounding person. However, once the rebounding person gets bored of this new partner, they won’t stay in that unhealthy rebound relationship for long. Can a rebound be true love? In most cases, a rebound won’t be true love. However, some interesting new investigation into rebounds has shown that people who turn to a new partner shortly after a breakup, especially if the breakup was after a long and committed relationship, are more likely to view themselves as “date-able” more quickly after the breakup. This empirical investigation into rebounds also shows how a shorter time between a breakup and the beginning of a relationship with a new partner could indicate emotional stability and higher self-esteem, and more respect for their new partner. All in all, a rebound is probably not true love. However, it could give you some insight about you and your new partner regarding personality and self-esteem. Do exes come back after a rebound? It’s not uncommon for exes to return after a rebound, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. If your ex is the type of person to leave you, be with someone else, and then come back to you when they realize the negative dynamics of a rebound, then they might have some mental health issues that should be addressed before (and if) you decide to take them back. For example, they may have some issues related to narcissism and sexual desire or the idea that they’re so great and desirable that you’ll take them back on their terms when they want you to. This type of person can be dangerous and not at all helpful for your own mental health. That being said, even if your ex comes back after a rebound, it’s up to you whether or not you take them back. Or, you might consider individual or couples therapy. This will help both of you come to terms with your ex’s rebound and the healing process that must follow the breakdown of a relationship. Often when a relationship ends, we are heartbroken. Unfortunately, there is no formula, method, or trick to get your ex back to you. Though many people can and do have successful relationships after taking a break from each other, all we can do is try our best to process, heal, and create our own happiness. The best bet for getting back together with your ex is to work on your own self-care and healing. If they notice that you have made healthy changes, it can be a very attractive thing. You should also remind yourself that heartbreak does heal. Even though getting back together with an ex may seem appealing, you deserve a healthy relationship as much as they do. Be sure that they are working on themselves and any issues you had while you were together before considering starting up. How do you know it's not a rebound? While you can’t be entirely sure of what your new partner is thinking or feeling unless you ask them and they answer you honestly, there are a few ways to know if you’re someone’s rebound. You can use these signs to determine whether your new partner is using you as a rebound.
On the other hand:
What are the signs of a rebound relationship? There are several signs you’re in a rebound relationship. First of all, if your motivation is one of jealousy or revenge, then you’re probably in an unhealthy rebound. If your goal is to show off your new lover to your ex, then you’re a rebounding person. Another one of the signs is if you’re constantly thinking about or fantasizing about your ex while you’re with your new partner. Or, you might constantly be comparing your new partner to your ex. A third sign is if you’re dating someone just so that you can be distracted. You might be interested in spending time with them, but you’re not really willing to invest emotionally. Even when you’re in this kind of relationship, you might feel a fear of rejection from your new partner or run the risk of narcissism as you constantly put your own wants and needs before those of your new partner. The biggest indicator of an unhealthy rebound is the imbalance between what you’re willing to give and what you expect to get from this new partner. How long after a relationship is a rebound? The most common amount of time to wait after a big breakup is three to four months for a relationship that lasted for a year. This is just a common answer; in reality, there’s no right answer out there to this question. However, you should be sure that you’re healed and recovered from your previous relationship before starting dating new people. Anything before that has the huge potential to be a shallow and unhealthy rebound relationship. Is rebound dating a good idea? If you’re asking if rebound dating is a good idea, then you probably have an idea of the answer. In most cases, it’s not a great idea because you should take the time to heal and recover from your previous relationship before starting something with a new partner. Waiting to jump into the next relationship is good not only for you and your own mental health but also for any potential new partner who will want to open up to you. If you want a healthy and balanced relationship, rebound dating is not a good idea. What are the chances of a rebound relationship lasting? The chances of a rebound lasting are pretty slim. By its very nature, a rebound moves very quickly, especially in terms of the sexual aspects of the relationship. This means that it has the huge potential to get boring and end quickly, as well. On the whole, a rebound can’t reasonably be expected to last very long, and it certainly can’t be expected to turn into a lifelong or long-term relationship. With a rebound relationship, it is believed often that it won’t last very long because of the shadow of the previous relationship. But this is not always the case, and the truth about rebound relationships is that they can last just as long as any other romantic relationship. Though the time between relationships can be important healing and processing time, it is possible to process a past relationship while in a new one. With hard work and meaningful attention, the new relationship can thrive whether there has been much time between relationships or not. In addition, seeing a relationship coach can help guide you towards healthy patterns and communication. Why did my ex rebound so fast? Likely, your ex rebounded so quickly because they are trying to distract themselves from the pain of the breakup. This is especially true in the case of divorce remarriage, especially if you ended a long marriage. Your ex probably didn’t feel comfortable without the presence of a marriage or relationship in their life. In the journal of divorce of a person’s experience, they often feel the need to be attached to someone throughout that whole process, even if that means turning to a shallow and unhealthy rebound relationship before they’ve had time to heal and process the breakup or divorce completely. How long do rebound relationships last on average? Like any other new relationship, the length of rebound relationships can depend on many factors. You may even be wondering whether rebound relationships ever work at all. Rebound relationships are not necessarily “doomed from the start,” though they may not last very long if they are started in haste after the previous relationship. This is because any new relationship that is not based on a mutual desire and commitment for the other person may not have the strength to last. However, if there is that passion, desire, and willingness to go the distance in the new relationship, it may have the strength to last even if it comes soon after a previous relationship. According to Love Bondings, people can feel the same dopamine rush with a new person whether there has been a lot of time between relationships or the previous relationship only recently ended. However, the partner needs to pursue a rebound relationship to remember that the negative emotions that come with dealing with a breakup can be fairly deep-seated. Every partner and every new relationship deserves emotional honesty and attention. If you find yourself entering rebound relationships that you truly believe should and can work, it may be helpful to reach out to a relationship coach. A relationship coach can help you process the emotions that come with ending previous relationships and entering new romantic relationships, as well as show whether rebound relationships ever work. Can rebound relationships work? The truth about rebound relationships is that it depends on their work, just like any other kind of romantic relationship. Oftentimes with rebound relationships, the partner getting out of the previous relationship still has a lot of work to do to process it. This is why a rebound relationship is believed that will only last a couple of months at best. However, the truth about rebound relationships is that they aren’t necessarily doomed from the start, says relate.org. If both partners can process their previous relationships and are interested in working hard for the current relationship, it is believed that it can definitely work out. If you want to know if rebound relationships ever work for you, it can also be helpful to talk to a relationship coach, especially if you are currently pursuing a rebound relationship. A relationship coach will help you process what went wrong in any previous relationships and tell you their perspective and insider knowledge if rebound relationships ever work. What is a rebound relationship? Rebound relationships are romantic relationships that begin soon after one or both partners have ended a previous relationship. The term rebound is used because, in this kind of relationship, it is believed that the partner or partners ending a past relationship enter the new relationship as a way to distract from the last relationship ending, feel the joy of a relationship again, or “bounce back” into the dating scene, hence the term rebound. For this reason, many people question whether rebound relationships ever work as the time between relationships is often necessary. The truth about rebound relationships is that they begin in a highly emotional place. However, like any other romantic relationship, they can be successful if treated as a serious relationship and given the hard work necessary to make rebound relationships ever work. It can be helpful to work with a relationship coach in any relationship. A relationship coach can help you and your new partner develop more open communication. What are the stages of a rebound relationship? Many believe rebound relationships all follow the same 4 stages: the “rebound” or getting together with a new partner, a honeymoon phase, the inevitable issues arise, and then a breakup. The truth about rebound relationships is that they are like any other relationship in that they require reflection, hard work, and dedication. In addition, in a rebound relationship, it is believed that partners enter a new relationship to cover up emotions or issues from the previous, which is why the question of whether rebound relationships ever work exists. This often does not lend itself well to the emotional dedication needed to maintain a new relationship, so people tend not to have faith in rebound relationships. However, the truth about rebound relationships is that if the dedication, love, and willingness to process old feelings are there, the relationship can work. For this reason, it can be helpful to work with a relationship coach who can help the new partners process their emotions, communicate with each other, and create a space dedicated to only their relationship. For More Reading https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26308486/rebound-relationship-signs/ https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/what-a-rebound-relationship-is-how-and-why-avoid-them https://www.bonobology.com/signs-rebound-relationship/ https://natashaadamo.com/rebound-relationships/ Therapy Is Personal Therapy is a personal experience, and not everyone will go into it seeking the same things. But, keeping these nine things in mind can ensure that you will get the most out of online therapy, regardless of your specific goals. If you’re still wondering if therapy is right for you and how much therapy costs, please contact us at . ReGain specializes in online therapy to help address all types of mental health concerns. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to . For more information about BetterHelp as a company, please find us on.
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Am I in love or is it a rebound?Signs it's a rebound:
You have a sense (or even a pervasive knowing) that you don't really like the person, but you're just using him or her to fill the time or distract from your pain. Your primary attraction to the new person is sexual, and you sense that you're using sex as a way to avoid dealing with your breakup.
Can a rebound relationship feel like love?Sometimes it's even about not feeling at all. The irony of the rebound relationship is that those who are in it truly want to be in love. They miss the security of being in love. And that yearning, conditioned by a memory and not the present reality, can make a new relationship feel like love.
How long is considered a rebound relationship?“Rebound relationships typically last between one month and a year, and commonly struggle to last past the initial infatuation period. They are often not based on deep compatibility, so differences can start to strain the connection,” says Stein.
How do you make sure it's not a rebound?You might be rebounding if:. You're still obsessively checking your ex's social media, even after some great dates with another person.. You fantasize about running into your ex with your new date a lot.. You think about one-upping your ex with your new dates more than the dates themselves.. |
How do I know if its love or a rebound?
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