How do you respond to a relationship ending?

Are breakup text messages acceptable? Many will say no, but the option is certainly a popular one. One survey found that 88% of men and 18% of women have broken up with someone via text message.

Breaking up with someone over text is usually frowned upon because:

  • It doesn’t leave room for a satisfying conversation
  • It’s hard to read the tone through a message, so you never truly know if someone is being angry, kind, or sarcastic, and
  • It’s impersonal
  • It allows the sender to be vague about why they are ending the relationship /leaves less room for closure

Sounds bleak, doesn’t it? While many people might say breakup text messages are the cowardly way out, there are definitely circumstances that allow for a digital heartbreak.

The list of pros to sending a breakup text is a long one. Breaking up through text message gives you the opportunity to carefully plan what you are going to say – a great option for those who stumble in awkward or uncomfortable situations

  • It’s not as confrontational
  • It’s good for those who have trouble standing up for themselves in-person
  • You can be calmer and less thoughtless through text
  • It is better for those who have anxiety
  • It’s faster
  • You can cut an argument off at its heel
  • It’s easy

Whether you’ve been with someone for five minutes or five years, this article is explaining the best way to breakup with someone over text.

Related Reading: How to Write a Breakup Letter to Someone You Love

Best breakup texts

The best breakup texts are the ones that are honest without being hurtful. The best breakup texts will show genuine kindness while doing something very difficult and hurtful.

Here are the best breakup text messages for a swift but appropriate exit from your relationship.

  1. Honesty has always been the best policy in our relationship, so I want to show you the respect of keeping that going. I admire you and I care about you a lot, but I don’t feel like our relationship is a big priority anymore. It isn’t either of our faults, I just think we have grown beyond what we can offer each other. I think it’s best to end things.
  1. Please don’t think I’m saying this lightly, but I think we should breakup. This has been on my mind a lot lately and I don’t feel like our relationship is working anymore. You and I are at different places and I don’t think our journeys are aligning right now.
  2. I’ve had a lot on my mind recently. I’m sure you can tell I’ve been distant. I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship and, while you are an incredible person who I’ve come to love and respect, I no longer feel like this is the best relationship for me right now. I think it’s best we part ways.
  1. I know I’ve hurt you and I’ve been thinking about how I let this happen. The truth is, I don’t think I love you the way that I should. You deserve better, so I think it’s time to part ways while I figure myself out. 
  2. I’m sorry to end things this way, but I haven’t been happy in our relationship for a while now. I care about you so much and I hate that this is going to hurt you, but I think we should end things for a while.

Long breakup texts

If you want to learn how to breakup with someone on text but don’t want to seem rude by digitally ending things, try it with long breakup texts.

Long breakup texts will be more appreciated than a text that is only a line or two long. Take time to pour your heart into your message. Think of it more like a letter than a text. Focus on what you convey and hit the send button with confidence.

Here are some long breakup text messages that will ease the blow of being broken up with through text.

  1. I know doing this over text probably seems awful, but it’s the best way for me to gather my thoughts. I just wanted to say that you’ve meant a lot to me. You’ve been there for me through some big moments in my life and I will always treasure that.You know I love you, but lately, I haven’t been feeling like I’m in love with you. I know this is going to hurt you, but I need to be honest about how I’m feeling. I would love to stay friends if that’s something you’re interested in, but I understand if that would be too difficult for you right now.
  1. I want to start this out by saying that you are really important to me. But it’s no secret that we’ve been having issues lately. I feel like we have both tried our hardest to make this work and nothing seems to be bringing us back to where we used to be. I am emotionally exhausted and I’m sure you are, too. I think the best idea right now is to take a break.
  1. I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We’ve built a beautiful life, and it kills me to say this, but I no longer feel fulfilled by it. Life with you was amazing, but I no longer feel that passionate spark. I think it’s best to part ways and say goodbye for now while I figure out what I want.
  1. I’m sorry to do this over text, but I just have to get this out while it’s fresh in my mind. I’ve been focusing on my personal growth lately, and something has been feeling off. I realized recently that it’s our relationship. 

I care about you so much, but I don’t feel like we are a good fit for each other anymore. As awful as I feel ending things, I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do. We both deserve a relationship that makes us feel amazing, and right now our relationship isn’t it. 

If you want to talk about this in person I’m happy to meet up or talk on the phone/facetime. I just thought I should tell you this now.

Sad breakup texts

Sometimes when you send breakup text messages, you want to say something sad that will let them know exactly how broken your heart is.

Here are some breakup text examples to make them cry.

  1. My heart is shattered. I gave you everything I had and it still wasn’t good enough for you. It’s over. 
  2. I can’t stop crying. You were my whole world and now I feel like I have nothing. It hurts me to do this, but I can’t keep seeing you. I need to find someone who loves and appreciates me, and that someone isn’t you. 
  3. I know that one day you’ll look back and realize that at this moment you lost the best thing that had ever happened to you. 
  4. It hurts me to say this, but I don’t love you anymore. We’ve been through too much hurt and I can’t keep going with you. I am breaking up with you.
Related Reading: How to Break up With Someone You Love: 15 Breakup Tips to Follow

Serious breakup texts

Even if you aren’t in a long term relationship, serious breakup texts are necessary to let someone know when they’ve hurt you and enough is enough.

Here are some breakup text examples for a serious breakup.

  1. You feel so far away from me these days. I know that I’m losing you and I can’t stay around to watch us slowly fall apart. We’ve both tried our hardest to make it work, but now it’s time to say goodbye. I hope you have an amazing life. 
  2. I want to breakup. Maybe one day I’ll be at a point where we can be friends again, but for now I need to cut off contact with you. This is really painful for me, so please respect my decision and let me move on with dignity. 
  3. Being around you makes me feel like my heart is broken. I should never feel that way around someone I love. That’s how I know we need to end things. 
  4. I can’t let you keep hurting me like this. I’ve given you my heart and you keep abusing my trust. I don’t even know what else to say other than goodbye.

Breakup texts for a long-term relationship

Sending a breakup text when you are in a serious relationship may seem cruel, but if you are in an abusive situation or have been done with the relationship for a long time, a text may be the easiest way to go.

Here are some of the best breakup text messages for a long-term relationship.

  1. Hey, this is difficult for me, but I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship lately and I don’t think we’re in the same place. We want different things and I don’t think it’s fair to either of us to keep going when we’re both miserable. 
  2. You know I love you and I never want to do anything that’s going to hurt you, but I think we need to separate. I’m not my best self when I’m with you, and I think we would be better suited with other partners. 
  3. I’m sorry to say this over text, but I think we should breakup. I’ve been learning more and more to follow my gut, and right now it’s telling me I need to be alone. I’m sad that we won’t be together anymore, but I honestly believe this is for the best.
Related Reading: 7 Things to Know Before Getting Into a Long-Term Relationship

Polite messages to end a relationship

Just because you don’t want to be with someone anymore doesn’t mean you have to be rude about it.

These polite breakup text messages are perfect for someone you were casually dating and have only been out with a couple of times.

These breakup texts can also be used for politely ending it with a more serious partner if you’re trying not to hurt their feelings.

  1. Hey, I just wanted to send you a quick text to say that I really enjoyed hanging out last night, but I feel like this is more of a friendship than a romance. Hopefully, you got that vibe, too. 
  2. I’ve been having so much fun spending time together, but if I’m being honest I think I’m looking for something a little (more or less) serious than you are right now. 
  3. I love spending time with you and I would love to hang out again, but for me, it would just be as friends. I hope you understand and feel the same way! 
  4. I feel lucky to have gotten to know you so well and I’m thankful we were able to be in each other’s lives, but don’t feel like we are compatible as a couple. I hope you can understand and respect that. I am here for you if you need to talk. 
  5. I just wanted to say you have been an amazing partner and I truly appreciate everything you’ve done for me. That said, I’m not feeling that this is the best place for me anymore, and I think I would like to be single for a while. We have created some amazing memories that I will always treasure, but I think it’s time that we go our separate ways.

How to breakup with someone you love over text the RIGHT way?

Looking for the best breakup texts to send? While there is technically no right or wrong way to breakup with someone over text, learning how to send a breakup text will soften the blow (or make it worse, if that’s your aim!) and get your point across clearly.

Here are some simple dos and don’t for sending breakup text messages.

  • DON’T

Say you want to stay friends if you don’t mean it. When trying to send a polite message to end a relationship, you may want to ease the pain by offering to stay in your ex’s life as a friend. 

Don’t make this offer if you don’t really want to be friends. This will only complicate things and intensify hurt feelings.

  • DO

Be kind. Unless your soon-to-be-ex blew up your life or cheated, there’s no reason to go down a list of their faults or be needlessly cruel.

  • DON’T

Overuse flattery. Telling them you enjoyed your time together and that they were a great partner is fine, but don’t list off every wonderful quality they had. This will only have them wondering: “If I have all these amazing qualities, why are they leaving me?”

  • DO

Choose a good time. Breaking up with someone while they are out of town, heading into a stressful work situation, or dealing with a sick loved one is poorly timed. Try your best to pick a time when your soon-to-be-ex can be surrounded by a support system when you leave.

  • DON’T

List off the problems in the relationship. The quickest way for polite breakup messages to go downhill is to start telling your spouse everything that you hated about your relationship.

  • DO

Show your relationship respect. Learning how to breakup with someone you love over text is awkward, so try your best to show your relationship the respect it deserves as you deliver the bad news.

Some people break it off over the phone, some do it face to face, and with the popularity of online dating people often break it off over text nowadays. Check out this video about how to breakup with someone over text:

Final thought

There is no such thing as the perfect breakup text, but we think these breakup text examples come pretty close.

Whether you’re trying to send sweet breakup texts, scathing truth bombs, or a simple, polite message to end a relationship, this article has you covered.

Even if you think learning how to breakup with someone you love over text is tacky, according to breakup statistics, you may need to know