I think my mom is in love with me Reddit

So I’m not really sure how to start this. I’ve been worried about this for a few years but it’s recently gotten a lot worse and it’s becoming a bit much but I really need someone else’s opinion on this…specifically a mother’s opinion to see if any of this is normal.

I’m 22, biological male but definitely feel more non-binary than anything, quite a femboy if I’m being real.

So my mother is an interesting person. She acts very caring and sweet but can throw backhanded compliments like it’s a hot potato. Very scheming, nosey, talks behind peoples back’s constantly, controlling, and of course her favorite thing to do is say the most passive aggressive things to me and my partner(they are a female basically but prefer they/them like me). My mother is suffocating and kind of well um…questionable. She’s said some pretty odd things like offering to hold my brothers(24) hand to go to bathroom. And I quote “here baby, come hold mommy’s hand to go potty” this was in a restaurant, our entire family stopped eating and looked up at her and said to never say anything like that ever again. She said she was joking but man the way she said it is honestly scary.

Now I know that was my brother but that was to show how she is like…pretending that we are still little babies. I’m the middle child, the youngest being my sister at 18 so I have always been the baby boy and she babied me growing up and still tries to now but I’ve been telling her to stop because I’m realizing what’s going on. She still talks about how when I was little I just couldn’t get enough kisses from her, and how I was always next to her and that type of stuff right. It’s like she’s trying to make me feel guilty for not being like that still…as a 22 y/o.

She has babied my sister and trapped her from the outside world for as long as she could, on purpose. I remember her saying once how she doesn’t want my sister to quit gymnastics because she would have free time to experience the outside world and as a result my sister literally has the mind of an 8 y/o. She pretends Santa is real even though she’s 18, same with Easter bunny and all that and my mom sees no issue with it. My sister has no idea how to do anything on her own. Literally nothing. I feel bad for her cause it’s not her fault. It’s my moms.

She also gets extremely…weird when I don’t talk to her. All of my siblings and I still live at home and I guess she expects us, especially me, to want to have conversations about everything(which never happens because she isn’t enjoyable to talk to for obvious reasons). But when I don’t talk to her for even 6 hours, she will come into my room, close the door, and ask “what are you doing”. Everytime. It feels like forced interaction and I can’t stand it. It makes me feel like nothing else on this planet does, just awful. And then after I give her a blunt response, she usually responds with “oh I was just seeing what you were doing this whole time because I haven’t seen or talked to you at all today” or “just making sure you’re still alive since I haven’t seen any sign of life from you today” and then go on to complain and beg for pity by talking about how everything is hard and unfair, and how she’s tired and no one is there to help. Even when I’ve been working all day, I come home and just want to chill out in bed for awhile and she’ll waltz right in, close the door and lean against it like she’s trapping me, and act like it’s a personal attack that I haven’t talked to her. I can’t handle that, and yeah, it is personal because every time I talk to you, all you do is make me feel dumb and beg for pity while complaining about your day and how no one has anything to do with you…I wonder why.

She also has major issues with my partner, she’s always hated every single one of them. Never had any issues with my brothers gfs, in fact she would always talk about how much she loved them but she is the most passive aggressive human I’ve ever seen when my girlfriend is around. She was living with us for a little bit but well, she decided to move back in with her physically abusive mother over staying here because of how unwanted my mom made her feel. And yet my mom will ask “did she not feel wanted here? We don’t mind her being here”. Yeah, okay, liar. She would literally talk bad about things my partner likes directly in front of her, only ever make eye contact with me, basically pretended that my gf was non-existent, somehow always forgot her name, forgot that her dad is dead. My mom asked her multiple times “where’s your dad at?” Knowing full well he was fucking dead and then act surprised to hear it. Called my gf a “rat” to my brother when she had her second seizure in our house(she has epilepsy). Apparently my mom thought she was faking her health issues or something, like I had just told her that my gf fell on the ground in my room and was foaming from the mouth and she said “I smell a rat, I smell a rattttt” to my brother…who does something like that. Literally awful. I hope she felt like the biggest asshole ever when my gf came from my room with a welt on the side of her head from hitting the ground. I don’t blame my gf for wanting to leave after that. No one deserves that. And of course my gf hates my mom now and thinks that my mom is in love with me too.

She only does this type of stuff when it has to do with me, I swear she is jealous. Everytime I’m texting my partner, she gets in a mood and is slamming doors, sighing and huffing when she walks past me. Now I like to completely ignore her and see how mad she gets when I’m more focused on my gf than her, to see her reactions and it’s getting worse. Everytime she sees me texting or calling my gf, i hear pans and glasses being thrown around from the other side of the house, doors slamming, she gets really irritated and mad at everyone for the dumbest things.

There was another time, the one that started making me question things from how awful and gross my mom made me feel. This mother of one of the girls that my sister did gymnastics with was over at a pool party at our house. Now this lady has always been trying to get with me I will admit, even before I was 18 she said some things that would have gotten her in prison if she acted on them but that’s a different story. I was in the pool drinking and minding my own business and this mom makes her way over to me and is like, sitting in the pool with her legs on top of mine, weird flirty stuff(oh this lady has a husband too…he was also in the pool but just didn’t care I guess) and my mom tries to like, sit in between us almost. She was just being really weird. This was also the only time I’ve ever seen my mom drunk, and she couldn’t hide anything. She was obviously jealous and being weird. At some point everyone got out of the pool to eat some food except me and…my mother. I kept waiting for her to leave and she was just sitting there looking at me and goes “oh do you want to go eat some wings Carson? You could get a better view of her boobs from over there” and I just stared at her completely shocked. I had no idea what to say. It felt like a weird love triangle thing except I didn’t want either of them and they both wanted me..and one was my mom….even my brother and his gf at the time were freaking out over how weird my mom was being. After that night, my mom suddenly hated this lady and refuses to do anything with her anymore even though they were like best friends.

Like the only way I can really describe all of this is that she is almost romantically in love with me and is extremely jealous. She pretends to be a good innocent minded Christian, and then acts like this, the pettiest person I’ve ever met. Now I know why my dad is always drinking like man I don’t blame you.

She’s a preschool teacher also…which does not help her case I don’t think.

I’m sure there’s more I could put but I’m really feeling awful thinking about all of this, I just want out of here and I don’t want to have to deal with this. Please any thought on this would be nice and very appreciated. I need to know that I’m not crazy.