My wife doesnt try to look good

Question: I dated my wife (who was then my girlfriend) for eight years before getting married. She used to be always presentable and carried herself really well. But since the time we have got married, she has become very negligent about her looks. She has started putting on weight and never feels like dressing up, not even on special occasions. I never loved her because of her looks, but I feel one need to look smart and well-dressed on certain occasions.
I tried conveying this message to her but she did not budge. Now, I don’t even feel like taking her to my office parties and other social gatherings. How should I convince my wife to start taking care of her looks?- By Anonymous

Answer by Rachana Awatramani: I appreciate that you have mentioned your feelings that you don't love her for her looks but believe that one must be presentable. I completely agree with you!

Most of the women lose interest in themselves post marriage as their role becomes more demanding and in some cases, they are burdened with household responsibilities. Most of them start giving priority to others, and ignore their own requirements at the end of the day.
I would suggest you try and find out what are the reasons that are leading her to neglect herself. You can help her by sharing the responsibilities if you feel that those are the reason for her to lose interest. You have also mentioned that you have lost interest in taking her to office functions due to this behaviour, you can try speaking to her about this.

It will be a good idea to take her to the doctor for a routine check up to understand the reason behind the weight gain and get a routine blood test done. Weight gain can be due to vitamin deficiency, thyroid or lack of exercise.

You can also try gifting her spa treatment and take her out for shopping, and spend some quality time with her. She might require little appreciation and pampering to get back to her normal self. If you feel there are more emotional concerns that you can’t handle by yourself, you can visit a professional and take further guidance.

-Ms Rachana Awatramani is a Counselling Psychologist in Mumbai

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There are many ways to determine or feel the signs she’s not into you anymore. While showing no love can seem tragic, this doesn’t mean all hope is lost. This is something you can still work out.

However, it would be best to know how to approach the situation whenever you think, “my wife doesn’t love me anymore.”

With that said, in this article, we will go over the possible reasons your wife acts like she doesn’t like you anymore or if she has been showing no love lately.

Here, we’ll guide you through what red flags to look out for so you can finally decide if it’s time to move on or work things through. So, let’s dive right in.

Why doesn’t she love you anymore?

At some point during the relationship, you may feel that your wife doesn’t love you anymore. In this case, there can be numerous reasons your wife doesn’t listen or that there is no affection from your wife.

After all, relationships are complex, especially when you’re married and in it for the long haul.

Still, looking out for the signs and reasons why she doesn’t care about you won’t only help you navigate the dynamic of your relationships, but it can also save what’s left.

In fact, it can even help you win back your wife’s heart.

30 signs your wife doesn’t love you anymore

So, what are the signs that can make you think, “my wife doesn’t love me anymore?” Here are some of them.

1. She doesn’t share things with you as much as she used to

Women are typically more expressive than men, so if they suddenly stop sharing what’s going on with them with you, it can be a sign that they don’t love you anymore. 

Aside from this, it can also make you think that “my wife doesn’t trust me anymore.”

2. She starts to act contemptuously

Another potential sign that she doesn’t like you anymore is if she suddenly acts mean towards you without any apparent reason.

In this case, it might be best to ask her what’s wrong, as something could have been brewing for quite some time without your awareness. 

Moreover, doing so can also help you make your wife happy again.

3. She becomes highly critical of you

Another sign that she doesn’t love you anymore and makes you wonder “why my wife doesn’t respect me” is when she starts becoming highly critical of everything you do.

Unfortunately, this negatively impacts your self-esteem, as well as makes you ask, “why doesn’t she like me anymore?”

4. She ignores the things you say

Another sign that can make you ask, “why doesn’t my wife want me anymore” is when she no longer listens to your stories or ask what you’ve been up to. 

In this case, it could mean that she’s no longer interested in you or what you have to say.

Related Reading: 15 Reasons Why Is She Ignoring You

5. She dismisses anything you say

Likewise, if she starts dismissing everything you have to say, it can signify that she doesn’t love you anymore. 

Like being overly critical, this can significantly affect not just your relationship but your self-esteem as well.

6. She doesn’t show interest in your affairs

Another sign that can make you ask, “why doesn’t she love me anymore” is when she no longer shows interest or fakes interest in the things you’re invested in.

This can be painful, especially if it’s about something you consider special.

Related Reading: What Happens When There Is Lack of Attention in Relationship?

7. She no longer argues with you

Another sign that can make you think, “she stopped loving me,” is when she no longer argues with you. 

While this may indicate that she doesn’t want to deal with stress, this can also mean that she no longer cares about you or what you have to say.

8. She gives you the silent treatment

Similarly, giving you the silent treatment can mean many things, but this can also indicate that your wife is no longer happy with your relationship.

Also Try: Am I Happy In My Relationship Quiz

9. She starts showing interest in other people

When she doesn’t love you anymore, the likelihood of becoming interested in others becomes higher. 

Unfortunately, this can potentially lead to infidelity and the end of your relationship.

10. She no longer initiates or responds to intimacy

When you no longer express intimacy with each other, this can make you wonder, “does my wife love me?” After all, intimacy is one of the core aspects of any relationship.

11. She is too involved in her affairs

Having a career-driven partner can be a bonus to the relationship, but if she no longer finds time or energy for you, this can be a bad sign for your marriage.

12. She deliberately hides things from you

Why doesn’t my wife trust me? While maintaining your privacy is essential, too much secrecy can quickly topple a stable relationship. 

If your wife is deliberately hiding things from you, it can mean that she no longer trusts you.

Related Reading: 15 Signs Your Spouse Is Hiding Something From You

13. She only talks to you if she needs something

Communication is essential for any relationship, and limiting that can make your marriage painful and awkward. 

In fact, you can tell when she stops caring when she only talks to you when she needs something.

However, you can still take this as a chance to show your wife you love her and that you still want the relationship to work.

14. She stonewalls you

Similar to the silent treatment, stonewalling can mean that your wife no longer loves you. You may even panic and ask, “how to make my wife love me again.”

This video might help you deal with stonewalling:

15. She constantly compares you to other people

While you may always have your imperfections, being compared to other people constantly can mean she no longer cares about your feelings. 

Not only will this drive a wedge between you and your wife, but it may also cause you to resent her.

Related Reading: 25 Things You Should Never Do in a Relationship

16. She threatens to leave when things get stressful

While this can quickly lead to an abusive dynamic, you also need to verify if you’re doing something she finds too painful that she has to leave.

17. She doesn’t care about your side of the family

While your wife may act like she doesn’t care about you during a misunderstanding, it may mean something different when she starts to act curt and disrespectful to your family. 

This could mean that she intends to cut ties and leave.

Related Reading: 20 Signs of Disrespect in a Relationship and How to Deal With It

18. She would rather be out than spend time with you

It can be healthy for your spouse to spend some time with other people, but if she prefers being with other people instead of you all the time, it can be a bad sign for your marriage.

19. Her friends act curt or dismissive around you

Women tend to have closer friendships, so if you notice that her friends’ behaviors have changed around you, this can mean she’s no longer happy with your marriage.

20. She refuses to apologize

Another sign she’s no longer happy and doesn’t love you anymore is that she refuses to apologize. While this can be an issue of pride, this can also mean a lack of willingness to compromise.

21. She talks behind your back

If you discover that she has been talking about you behind your back, it can mean that she doesn’t love or respect you anymore.

22. She doesn’t acknowledge your feelings

When you try to talk things out, and she doesn’t consider your emotions valid, this can also be a negative sign for your marriage.

23. She makes decisions on her own

When she no longer includes you in the decision-making process, this can mean that she no longer considers your input valuable.

24. She asks for a break

Asking for a break can be a significant indication that there’s something wrong with your current dynamic, so she needs some time off to think.

Related Reading: 8 Alarming Signs Your Wife Wants to Leave You

25. She’s often bored around you

If she’s no longer interested in you or the relationship, you might start noticing that she’s no longer as engaged as she used to be when she’s around you.

26. She avoids touching you

Another sign that she may no longer love you is when she avoids touching you whenever you’re together. 

This can mean that she no longer feels comfortable around you, leading you to think, “my wife never wants to make love anymore.”

27. She starts to lie

Honesty is another crucial element in relationships, and lying can mean that she no longer considers your marriage valuable.

Related Reading: How to Deal With a Lying Spouse

28. She would instead ask other people for help

If she now prefers going to others for help instead of you, it may mean she no longer considers you helpful or reliable.

29. She avoids talking about future plans

While this may be because she’s not ready, it could be because she no longer sees herself spending a future with you.

30. She no longer makes an effort to make things work

Lastly, if you notice that she doesn’t exert as much effort as she used to for your relationship, this can mean that she doesn’t want to stay in it anymore.

Related Reading: 20 Effective Ways to Put Effort in a Relationship

What you should do

If you’ve seen a couple of the signs apply to your life, you might start wondering “what to do when my wife doesn’t love me anymore.” Fortunately, this isn’t a problem that you can’t recover from.

In fact, it may not be that she doesn’t care about you. It could be that she is going through some things that you are also not aware of. With that said, the best take on this matter is to initiate a conversation.

In this case, you can do your best to get to the bottom of it so you can answer the question, “how do I get my wife to love me again?” Of course, this is often easier said and done.

So, if you’re willing to do what it takes to win back your wife’s heart, you should try enrolling yourselves in couples’ counseling or therapy.

With the help of a licensed professional, you may have the hope of reviving the fire in your relationship and help put an end to thoughts like, “my wife doesn’t love me anymore.”

Conclusion

Relationships do have tough times. After all, while there may be times when you feel that you’re not in love with your spouse, the same can happen with your partner. This can lead you to think that “my wife no longer loves me.”

With that said, it can be healthy for both of you to settle your differences and misunderstandings with an air of empathy and understanding. After all, communication is key, and talking things out can help you answer “why my wife doesn’t love me anymore.”

What do you do when your wife is not beautiful?

How do I make my wife more attractive?

What are signs of an unhealthy marriage?

Does good looks matter in marriage?