Why do guys hit on my friends but not me Reddit

My best friend is gorgeous. She's skinny, has long blonde hair, dresses nicely, and wears a lot of make-up. Guys love her. I can't go to a coffee shop with her for 10 minutes without being interrupted by a guy asking her out. When we walk down the street, all eyes go to her.

I, on the other hand, am cute. Maybe even above average. But I don't turn heads or get checked out on the regular. I'd say I have a nice personality. I'm a freelance designer and independent musician and have a lot going for me in life. I'm not insecure by any means...until I spend time with her.

It's fucking exhausting watching guys come up to her over and over again, especially because she doesn't recognize that this is unusual. She has really low self-esteem and thinks she's the ugliest, fattest girl on the planet, and that every girl is treated like a supermodel.

Well, we're not. Us average girls have to actually ask guys out if we want a chance. I feel like I have to compensate for my lack of beauty by becoming funny, talented, intelligent, etc. Not that pretty people aren't talented, I just mean I feel the need to work extra hard, which is my problem. I have to have something to offer because my looks don't always cut it.

I saw a guy in my college dorm the other day that I thought was cute, so I started talking to him and got his number. The next day, he saw me in the dining hall and asked to sit with me. I was already sitting with my friend, though, so I invited him to join us. I was actually pleasantly surprised because he still seemed interested in me after the meal.

He asked to hang out later, and when he came over, he proceeded to tell us all how beautiful my friend is. Then he asked me if I would mind if he took her out on a date that night. I was absolutely crushed. My one fucking chance destroyed by her. I know it's not her fault but I can't help resenting her.

I broke down and asked my mom for advice (I rarely talk to her so this was bad) and she literally told me to not introduce guys to her if I want a chance. I'm so sick of people fucking choosing her over me when they have no idea what either of us is like! It's such bullshit how superficial dating is. It doesn't matter if I'm smarter or funnier than her if I'm not beautiful.

Posted byu/[deleted]7 months ago

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Me and my best friend love to go out and have fun. The thing is, she's really attractive and often guys will hit on her at bars and clubs while barely acknowledging me. It's not that I don't have anyone hitting on me, but with her it's happening all the time, guys will just interrupt our conversation to flirt with her and often they don't even say hi to me. It's even worse when they drag her to the dancefloor and I have to go out and have a cigarette to avoid sitting alone and looking like an idiot. My friend usually isn't even interested in those guys, she's just too shy to say no. Sometimes that can really ruin a night.

Has anyone been in this situation and how do you deal with it?

Why do I almost never get hit on? What prompts you to hit on a girl when you're out? from AskMen

Posted byu/[deleted]2 years ago

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Basically last night I was at an amusement park with my friend. I saw a guy with a breaking bad tshirt and I told him I liked it, but he seemed completely uninterested me and quietly said thank you then left. A couple of minutes later a group of 3 guys comes up to my other friend and one of the guys asks for her number. The other two boys wait for him and then leave once he gets my friends number.

Tbh I know it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it really does. I've had one boyfriend and it was a terrible experience. It lasted a month and I don't think he really even liked me. I just feel like maybe something is wrong with me or my looks. I know it sounds stupid but I'm kinda scared that I won't be able to be in a relationship in the future or that guys wont be interested in me because they never really have been. Idk it just kinda sucks sometimes being the "other friend"

I've noticed she's been getting approached by men on the streets a lot lately. A group of friends and I went to a bar last week, and my one friend was getting hit on quite often. I know I sound jealous but I'm just wondering why she gets so much male attention compared to the rest of us. I actually find my group of friends around the same level of attractiveness. My friend is an attractive girl, but I don't think she's THAT much more better looking than the rest of us. Just curious what your thoughts are.

Literally why do they hit you up for friendship then get all weird when you're friendly back and assume your hitting on them?

I was talking to a deaf guy over messenger and he said he was looking for friends and I bit what he was giving me, granted I should know better by now, and said "Sure I'll be your friend!"

Well I mentioned learning sign language so we can communicate better and honestly I wanted to learn another language anyways and he tells me I'm hitting on him and when I said "Okay?" he went full incel and was like "Now you're showing me your true colors hahahahahaha."

What the fuck? Am I missing something?

My best friend and I do everything together. We always go out together, eat together, etc. Whenever we meet new people, specifically men, they always immediately direct their attention towards her, and they rarely acknowledge me even though I'm right there as well. I'm not even asking for much, just a friendly hello and so much as some effort to try and include me in their conversation.

I know this is because she's more attractive than I am and they usually always want in her pants. It bothers me because we have such similar personalities that when it comes to men, it all comes down to looks and almost 100% of the time they gravitate towards her. I do not consider myself particularly unattractive, but when I'm compared to her, she's definitely the more attractive one. I know attraction is subjective but honestly I don't compare to her.

I'm not saying that I want guys to be all over me like they are with her because that's not what i'm after; I'm just wondering how to deal with it because it really lowers my self esteem! It's not her fault either - I love her of course and she just naturally attracts guys. I'm totally happy for her. But how do I not let this affect my self-esteem? It happens almost on a weekly basis. What are your guys' experience being the "wingman"?

Edit: Wow I came back the next day to some awesome advice! Thank you guys all so much :) And to all those in the same situation as me, I hope you are able to overcome this as well.