Should i tell him im scared of getting hurt

I always hear people saying that they’re scared to fall in love again, and while I get it, I don’t feel the same way. For me, the most terrifying part of getting into a new relationship isn’t the part in which my heart goes into overdrive when the object of my affection makes eye contact with me, but the part in which he looks me in the eyes and tells me it’s over. This is why the reasons I want to run away from relationships have nothing to do with love and everything to do with the risk of heartache that comes with it.

1. When I fall, I fall hard. I can’t help it. Every time I get into a relationship with someone I like, it’s not long before I’m head over heels for the guy. I have such a hard time restraining my emotions, so I know it’s going to hurt that much more when things inevitably come crashing down later on.
2. Love isn’t scary — it’s incredible. Love itself is awesome. If it hurts, then you’re doing it wrong… unless you’re so in love with someone that you feel your heart swelling at the very thought of them. Growing to love someone is one of the greatest parts of the human experience, and when I’m in THAT stage of a relationship, I can’t get enough. It’s when that love starts to break that it all goes downhill.
3. Past relationships have made me paranoid. I’ve dated a few guys that I’ve been able to let go of without too much damage to my heart, but I’ve also seen exactly what can happen when the love you give blows up in your face. Now, rather than being hopeful about the future, I’m terrified by the prospect of repeating the past. I know I need to get over it if I ever want to be happy in a relationship again, but it’s so damn hard.
4. Rejection is scarier than love could ever be. Being told that you’re not worthy of someone you care about is one of the most painful things a person can experience. Whether it’s the friend you’re in love with who only sees you as a “sister” or the long-term boyfriend who woke up one day and decided he’d rather be with someone else, it’s amazing that experiencing that pain just once isn’t enough to scare us away from ever falling in love again.
5. I feel like I can’t trust anyone enough to fall in love again. After being crushed so many times by guys I thought would never hurt me, I can’t help but feel like every man will eventually do the same to me if I let him. Even though I swore I’d never be the person to keep people out, I’ve started putting up emotional walls to protect myself. I know they probably won’t do any good when I find a new love interest and they get put to the test, but I’ll try anything to soften the blow in case things don’t work out.
6. I’m constantly waiting for things to go wrong. Sometimes I think I’m creating a self-fulfilling prophecy: I expect things to fall apart, so my paranoia ends up destroying the relationship I’m in. I know it’s not healthy, but I can’t stop myself. As much as I love finding someone I connect with on such a deep level, my experience has shown me that it’s only a matter of time before my heart gets broken, and something inside me keeps telling me that it’s better to be prepared.
7. Loving someone makes it easier for him to hurt me. Who really cares when that player you knew was bad news decides he’s not into it anymore? The end of every fling and relationship isn’t a tragedy, but it’s completely different when you love someone with everything you have. Once he’s found his way into your very soul, it makes it that much easier to destroy it.
8. I feel like the risks outweigh the benefits. When you get into a relationship, there really are only two options: either you stay with him forever, or you eventually break up. Both options are equally terrifying to me, to be honest. Since only one guy is going to be the one who I end up with for the rest of my life (hopefully), that means I’m going to have to go through a lot of pain before I find him. I have to ask myself if it’s really a good idea to put myself through everything involved in being in love when it’s very probable that it won’t work out in the end anyway.
9. I can’t help but wonder if it’s really worth it. As awesome as it is to be in love, is it worth the pain that comes when it starts to break down? I want to find someone awesome to be with, and yet, I struggle with figuring out if all the butterflies in my stomach are enough to justify the excruciating pain that comes when everything falls apart.
10. Love is great while it lasts, but when it’s gone, it’s so painful. Some might say it’s all in your head, but when things end between you and a person you deeply care about, it can really feel like he ripped a chunk out of your heart and took it with him. I know that eventually I’ll need to get over my fear of being hurt again, but it’s going to take a lot of effort for me to convince myself that the good parts will outweigh the agony if it ends.

When a woman has had her heartbroken, she loves differently, moving forward. When this happens, you should learn what to say to a girl who is afraid of getting hurt, as she will now have doubts about relationships in her future.

It's harder for her to open herself up completely in the beginning, and even though you might think that her baggage isn't your problem, she's infinitely worth the trouble.

How do you tell if a girl is scared of her feelings for you? You just have to look out for the signs she's scared of getting hurt or the signs she loves you but is scared of getting hurt. She may be guarded and scared but she's only human.

RELATED: 5 Ways People With A Big Heart Can Protect Themselves From Getting Hurt Again

She wants to find love again, but it's going to take time and patience for her to truly let her heart ease into a new adventure.

Before you date her, there are a few things you should know.

Here are 11 signs she's scared of getting hurt.

1. She only takes chances she thinks are truly worth it.

When the woman who's been hurt time and time again really allows herself to open up, it's because she sees an opportunity to be vulnerable that seems to be worth it. In other words, you're worth her investment so don't take it lightly.

RELATED: Why 'Being Scared Of Love' Is A Pathetic Excuse To Dump Someone

2. Her heart is gold, therefore she protects it with armor.

The size of the heart she protects is grander than you can ever imagine. It's because she's loved and has been broken before that she protects what she has with everything she can. What's inside her to give is safeguarded for good reason: she loves fiercely.

3. She wears her pain like diamonds.

She's not afraid to show her vulnerability, nor is she afraid to voice her concerns over the fears from her past. It's not that she's trying to unload her baggage onto you; she just might choose to share with you the things she's afraid of so history doesn't repeat itself.

4. She needs your affectionate actions as opposed to words.

She's no stranger to being told everything she wants to hear, but she's also been disappointed by plenty of words that weren't backed up with action.

Now, she needs a real man who will pay attention and shows signs he cares for her and shows her she's in safe hands. She needs more close attention with eye contact, touch, body language, and love behind every action.

Words without action don't interest her, and her wanting more affection from you could indicate one of the signs she is afraid of losing you.

5. She takes her time observing who you are.

She won't jump in easily and she treads very cautiously while getting to know you. To her, it's more important to learn who you are at a safer distance because diving in too deep early on has caused her grief in the past. Be patient with her. She may seem disinterested at times but it's only because she needs to tread lightly to avoid further disappointment.

6. She'll retreat if you give her reasons to doubt you.

If you wave even a small fraction of an assh*le flag or give her reasons to doubt your interest, she'll pull back as a defense mechanism. She refuses to get hurt again. In other words, don't be a dick and you shouldn't have a problem.

RELATED: How To Protect Your Heart Without Closing It Off To Love Completely

7. Honesty goes a long way with her.

She needs someone who will offer her unwavering honesty. She doesn't have time to read between the lines. Whatever you feel about her, it's best to let her know. If you like her, tell her. If you have doubts, it doesn't matter if you're scared to admit them, let her know and state them. Don't leave her wondering where she stands or if she can truly trust you.

8. She knows how to love deeply.

This woman is hiding her feelings and keeping her love under lock and key for good reason. It's because what she has to give is completely worth the journey into her heart. She loves way too hard or not at all. It's because she's been lonely and has experienced pain, so she knows that what she has to give needs to be fully earned first. She wants to fall in love from a deep place of trust.

9. She's stronger for having built herself back up from broken places.

The woman who's had her heartbroken and is willing to take a gamble on love again is a brave and courageous woman — she's a warrior. Don't shame her for her slow movement, she's afraid of getting hurt again and doesn't want to fall too fast. Instead, admire her ability to rise from the ashes.

10. Trust and loyalty are the number one priority for her.

If there's no trust, she sees zero value in investing her time and energy into you. If you can't offer her loyalty, she won't waste her time with you at all. If you truly want to earn her heart, you need to be coming from an equally thoughtful place. Love isn't a joke to her.

11. She's worth every bit of effort.

The woman who's afraid of getting hurt doesn't intend to come across as standoffish nor does she want to feel like dating her is a chore. She's simply a human who has a fragile heart because it's been broken before, sometimes numerous times, and all she wants is to feel good again. 

Take your time and don't rush the process. How do you know if she's falling for you? If you show her you care and that your intentions are good, then you will know soon if she's falling for you. When she finally opens up that golden heart of hers, you'll see just why every step was worth the effort. She'll appreciate you and love you like no one else ever has.

RELATED: How To Set Healthy Boundaries — So You Stop Getting Hurt

Andrea Wesley is a freelance writer living in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada. She’s a lover of wine, sushi, all things Parisian, and spiking her coffee with Baileys. She is also a contributor for The Bolde and Elite Daily

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