Warning: This story describes sexual behaviour. Show In a dimly lit room down a quiet Auckland suburban street, a woman named Michelle straightens a black sheet over the window. Then she locks it. The woman's partner Brad inspects the room and prepares a range of blood-letting implements that the couple will soon use on each other. Brad will use precision knives and other sharp objects to slice his partner's skin and draw blood. He believes blood is "the life force of someone" and to be "fluid-bound" with his partner is the ultimate form of intimacy. "Blood play excites me because you are playing with the very essence of someone's life. That little red stuff that dribbles out of someone is what keeps them alive, and they are trusting you to play with that life force. "To me that is the ultimate form of trust - to trust someone with the very thing that keeps you alive. It makes me feel both humbled and privileged that someone has placed that trust in me." Michelle believes blood play brings her and Brad closer together. "It feels very sensual to me and doesn't create pain for me but more of a warm feeling. It's also a bit of a mindset, knowing that there is a chance at any point of someone slipping or cutting an area that does hurt more. "You have to trust your partner implicitly and it creates a close bond." So what exactly is blood play? Blood play is a lesser-known form of BDSM that involves people getting thrills from a kinky activity where they're exposed to potential risks.
Meeting at a public kink event in Auckland almost two years ago, the Michelle and Brad were introduced to blood play, as well as their partners. Eventually, Michelle's husband agreed for her to have an open blood play relationship with Brad. Michelle says their platonic affair began like a playground crush, engaging in blood play without any sexual intent. But over nine months, during which the pair cut each other with blades and needles, both of their other relationships ended, which allowed them to develop together sexually. Tools of the trade Brad has a few favourites among the myriad objects he uses to draw blood.
"I like blades that are of a surgical sharpness, or close to. I sharpen all my own blades with the exception of one other person, who sharpens my blades when I have them available when I see him. "Fingernails also work if no tools are handy in a more primal sense, which is just as exciting as the slow draw of a cold blade." Where does it happen? The pair admit they play where they can, but mainly in the bedroom as there aren't clubs or venues that currently facilitate blood or edge play in Auckland. They agree that while blood play isn't the most common way to satisfy a partner, it's not completely off the grid. "I think you'd be surprised at how common it is in New Zealand. It's not as common as some other forms of play, but there is definitely a huge following in Christchurch," Brad explained. "I'd estimate one in 10 [In the kink scene] are interested in the lighter scale and one in 50 participate [in depth] based on what I have seen in Auckland." Keeping it clean But as blood play comes with risks, the couple ensure safety and health comes first and have regular HIV check-ups. "You have to be sanitary, so you wouldn't cut someone open who hasn't showered for a week," Brad says. "After you've done a scene with blood play you'll either put a plaster on or sterilizing strips. But before blood play, you'll also wipe the area down with alcohol." Hiding the end result? Engaging in blood play usually every week, the idea of scars and fresh cuts showing may put some off, but not Michelle. "I feel no need to hide marks as I'm not doing anything I'm ashamed of, or anything that I feel is wrong." Despite not being worried about what others may think, Brad typically only cuts his partner in places that aren't often seen. "Most of the areas I play on are covered by everyday clothing. However, in summer if I'm wearing a tank top or shorts, I don't feel any need to cover or hide marks," Michelle says. Brad also embraces his slices and scars, and admits it's easier with an accepting family and workplace that are all aware of his risky kink. "I have an open policy with my lifestyle so my employer knows about it to some extent, and understands that I may show up to work with injuries or markings that may look odd. My family and all my friends know I am kinky so I do not have to hide it from them either." Newshub. There was blood everywhere. I’m talking knife to the jugular level. It looked like a friggin’ crime scene. I felt like we were in an episode of CSI. I left a bloody handprint on her white wall. She was already wearing the strap-on when I arrived. She was walking, living, breathing sex, definitionally. No joke. If you look up “Sex” in Merriam Webster’s dictionary, her picture is there. Her hands clutched my upper arms. Once our skin touched, it was all over. With the potent electricity and excitement of being together, we skipped foreplay and went in for penetrative sex immediately. My first reaction post-blood was to act embarrassed, but the sheepishness was feigned. I felt like I was supposed to be worried and upset, but I wasn’t. I was turned on. I didn’t care about the mess. There was something so raw and animalistic about the whole thing. It didn’t take long for her to realise I wasn’t freaked out (or in pain, BTW). She admitted to being very into the blood too. It’s called blood play, but information on it is pretty sparse. If you Google it, you’ll mostly find information on donating blood to the Red Cross and HIV statistics. Not helpful. Still, I wanted to know everything there was to know. Because I haven’t stopped texting this woman about blood sex. This whole accidental experience had put blood on my mind. What is it about blood? Am I a freak for being so very into this? Why are people into it? Wait – are people into it? If I wanted to have it again, what would I have to do to make it happen? What is blood play, first of all?Now, you might have read the anecdote above and wondered what the actual f**k I was talking about. That’s OK. Like I said, there isn’t much information out there about using blood during sex. Blood inspires strong reactions in people. I had a boyfriend who legit fainted when he saw blood. I once started my period during sex and he went pale and nearly puked. LOL, good times. Blood play finds its ties in the kink and the BDSM community. Professional dominatrix Sandra LaMorgese, Ph.D., says that “just like all BDSM, blood play involves establishing a power dynamic between partners, with the dominant partner in control over the submissive partner. The only difference is that with blood play, you’re establishing that dominance by creating a power narrative that involves blood” instead of (or in addition to) other BDSM equipment. LeMorgese says that the same rules of consent, communication and understanding are involved with blood play – only even more so; drawing blood can be dangerous. Seriously, we’re talking about blood here. It really can be dangerous (even if it sounds mad fun). LaMorgese tells us that blood play can involve cutting each other or oneself, licking blood off your partner, or even drinking it. LISTEN: What is ‘coldplay’ all about? Post continues below. It’s probably important to note that it doesn’t necessarily involve real, human blood every time, though. It depends on what you’re looking to do up in here. You can enjoy blood play using blood capsules or even something you pretend is blood such as red wine or strawberry sauce. It’s called being imaginative, guys. Why are people into blood play?We’re animals at our very core. Hunting, killing and eating things is pretty f-ing feral … which can be sexy. Obviously not everyone is going to be turned on by this, but it makes sense why some people would be. We’re a sexually dynamic breed when we’re left to our own devices. LaMorgese says that blood play is fundamentally no different than other forms of BDSM: It’s about control and power. “People are curious and it makes them feel edgy and sexy,” she says. You’re not a freak if you like blood during sex. You’re not square if this is making you queasy. Everyone is different. Where do you start?Before you even think of getting started, LaMorgese suggests watching some erotic blood play movies with your partner to establish if this is something that turns you on. We’re not all guaranteed an experience like mine, wherein both of us randomly happened upon blood-lust. If you’re looking to try blood play, it is probably best not to try real blood during your first experiments – if at all. BDSM takes a ton of trust. Plus, emotionally speaking, blood play is not your run-of-the-mill vanilla sex. It can be … vexing, both emotionally and physically. “I highly recommend starting with fake blood. Blood play can be very emotionally intense, and it's best to build up to the real thing to give everyone time to adjust and feel comfortable,” LaMorgese says. Fantasy Blood PlayCheck out your local costume store (or Amazon Prime) and get some Halloween blood capsules. They have the color and texture of real blood (for the most part), without involving the worry of physical pain, scarring, or possible screw-ups. How do you keep it “clean?”I’m going to go out on a limb here and say the only thing more likely to keep you away from blood sex other than a fear of blood is a fear of mess. Women’s health brand FLEX conducted a survey of over 500 people, asking them their thoughts on period sex. Eighty-six percent of respondents noted that "the mess and cleanup” were the biggest reasons to keep them from having period sex. Forty-five percent of those asked said that period sex is “kind of gross.” Read: Bloody Hell! Is Period Sex Really a Big Deal! So, if you want to do blood stuff but cringe at the thought of a bloody handprint on a white wall, here are two pointers: Get some red towels. For obvious reasons, red towels are ideal for this kind of play. Spread them out wherever you’re going to be getting bloody and have at it. Stay off the bed. Blood (real or otherwise) will seep through towels to some degree. If you are bothered by the idea of staining your mattress, keep it off the bed. We suggest the floor. It keeps the animalistic qualities of blood sex alive, you know? This post originally appeared on Kinkly and was republished with full permission. You can read the original post here. |